DON’T LOOK AT THE TREE!

January 24, 2009

 

I WASN’T GOING to mention the economic news. Really I wasn’t. But my pen refused to stay still any longer. So I would like to say that we are all going to die. And the death that awaits us will be a horrible passing in a dank poorhouse, probably caused by the sky falling down.     Read the rest of this entry »


JUST FOR THE RECORD

January 17, 2009

 

TECHNOLOGY is a wonderful thing – no, really.

 

It all started with the briefest snatch of music and one line from a song. It was the soundtrack to a TV commercial for a computer game entitled “Gears of War 2”. Now, it’s not my sort of game, but the 30-seconds of backing music to the trailer really caught my attention. Unfortunately, all I had to go on was one line from the song: “….You already know how this will end.” and a few notes of the melody that stuck in my head. I HAD to know what it was.     Read the rest of this entry »


MERRY-GO-ROUND-ABOUT

January 11, 2009

I’VE SAID it before, and I’ll say it again. I detest unnecessary roundabouts. And I detest the excessive clutter of traffic lights that blight our highways. However, more than anything else I despise the ludicrous combination of traffic lights ON roundabouts.

You could be forgiven for thinking that the plans for some of the roundabouts in my hometown of Livingston were drawn up by a committee of toddlers on a sugar-high with only a stack of cheap paper and a few coloured crayons to keep them busy. What other possible explanation could there be        Read the rest of this entry »


GOODBYE TO THE GRAND OLD DUKE

January 7, 2009

IT IS with great sadness that I must report the death of The Grand Old Duke of York, famous for marching his ten thousand men up to the top of the hill, and so on…    

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HALLY FLAMIN’ LOOYAH

January 7, 2009

WELL, wasn’t the X-Factor just tremendous? Isn’t it great to see that song “Hallelujah” by Alexandra Burke selling copies faster than they can press them?

Well, no, actually.      Read the rest of this entry »


BABY, IT’S CAULD OOTSIDE

January 7, 2009

IT SEEMS that the UK has experienced its coldest start to winter in more than 30-years. And few regions experienced temperatures much lower than my home county of West Lothian.

The average temperature at the start of December was just 1.7C, and that really is a remarkable reduction on the long term average of 4.7C.

Meteorologists are saying that the reason for the cold snap is that “… the Atlantic has been fairly quiet.”

Eh?     Read the rest of this entry »


GRITTER CRITTERS

January 7, 2009

YOU might think that global warming, and the growing catalogue of endangered species doesn’t affect us in Scotland. But you’d be wrong.

Two species in particular seem to have dropped to dangerously low numbers, perhaps even approaching extinction. I am talking, of course, about the Lesser Spotted Gritter Critter.      Read the rest of this entry »