“F” FOR ART? (Not easy to say, that.)


I can’t believe it. Once again, no West Lothian artist has been nominated for the Turner Prize.

And that’s a shame. Because I reckon they would certainly win. Why? Because our artists tend to shy away from ridiculous pretension, and if they paint a duck or a tree it looks like – well – a duck or a tree. In that order.

This year, nominations for the Turner prize and winner’s cheque for £25,000 include a painting of a tree with a lopsided moon peeking out from behind it. There is also a piece entitled “Clutter” that resembles broken bed frames with a discarded tarpaulin draped across it.

Do you think that will be one of the “classics” in a few hundred years, with craftsmen spending weeks carefully restoring it to its original condition? Unlikely.

And let’s not forget the “soundscape” entry, produced by a girl singing folk songs up closes and under bridges.

They’re having a laugh, aren’t they?

West Lothian primary kids should have an hour set aside for a special art class. We could provide them with old bicycle parts, coat hangers, the contents of a skip, superglue and several broken mirrors. I’m sure that they could produce some form of “conceptual art” that would lift the prize.

In fact, a monkey with a stick and a pot of paint could probably do the same.

Wouldn’t it be great to have an honest Turner Prize winner who, given the cheque at the glitzy award ceremony, says: “Actually, I have to tell you… my dog did it.”

Now THAT’s art!

So, come on you local artists. Forget your penchant for displaying skill, expertise and talent. Just find some rubbish, staple it together and give it a fancy name.

It would be great to have a local artist win the Turner Prize. Or are you all too busy producing REAL art?

Drew McAdam


One Response to “F” FOR ART? (Not easy to say, that.)

  1. winnie lumsden says:

    I’ve seen better art on the byre wall, produced by a coo’s tail and a spattering of manure. Which is what those new Turner prizewinners maybe had in mind when they were creating their so called art.

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