I don’t know who carries out all these studies that appear on the news – and frankly, I don’t care. What I do care about, however, is the amount of time and money wasted on some of the nonsense masquerading as scientific studies, and the hours spent compiling the reports.
It seems to me that some of the people carrying out these studies could do with finding themselves real jobs. Something more productive than counting lampposts or measuring carrots.
The latest survey claims that 67 percent of drivers in Scotland would pull over and help a motorist who had broken down.
Eh? Do you really think that if you were at the side of the road with your car bonnet up, almost 7 out of 10 drivers would stop to help? Stuff and nonsense. I bet you could stand all day on the A71 staring blankly at your dead engine without a single motorist pulling in to help.
It wouldn’t be because people don’t care about your plight. I mean, what are they going to do when they offer assistance? Most modern cars don’t actually have moving parts – they have computers. Have you seen a modern engine? It’s just a big box and a lot of wires. So, now there would be TWO people staring blankly under the bonnet.
And does standing in a cloud of steam telling the poor driver that “Yup, your radiator is goosed…” count as helping?
Anyway, most people these days have a mobile phone. They can summon assistance quickly and easily.
So, where did this 67 percent figure come from? From going round with a clipboard and asking people if they would help a motorist whose vehicle had broken down, I wager. I mean, who is going to answer “No” to that question? Which means the answers you get are wrong, and the survey is flawed. Which, in turn, means this nationwide survey is a colossal waste of time and resources.
If you don’t believe me, I am up for a wager. I am willing to spend all day at the side of the road with the bonnet of my car pointing skyward. If two-thirds of drivers stop and ask if they can assist me, I will personally eat my entire car one tiny bit at a time.
Actually, eating my car is a waste of time and resources – just like this survey. The latest in a long line of pointless surveys.