Overweight? Well life could get a lot more expensive for you.

Did you see on the news that Pee Emm David Cameron is considering bringing in a “fat tax”? What a stroke of genius – everything else is taxed to the hilt, there is nothing left to raise revenue, and then the Government comes up with this. It’s a stroke of genius!

But then I started wondering how they’re going to collect the tax. Will we now have to enter our weight on tax returns? Or will they have special tax inspectors who hang around outside fast food outlets and demand money from those coming out carrying kebabs and deep fried pizza suppers?

Or perhaps these special fat tax collection officers will stop chubbies in the street and demand a tax payment. Maybe even chase them up the road – they would certainly be able to catch those with a bit too much padding without much difficulty ‘cos they can’t run very fast.

As for finding a tax loophole for this one; I bet the financially astute Fat Cats will carry bathroom scales with them – specially adapted so that they give a very low reading – just to prove that though they may appear large, they actually only weigh 4-stones.

I wonder what they will they call this new stream of revenue. Portly Poll Tax?  Tubby tariff? Lard levy?

And what about those who are skinny? Will they get a tax rebate?

It seems that, although no details have been worked out, the levy would target products such as milk, cheese, pizza, meat, oil and processed food. Just about every food there is, then.

But only the portly would pay the tax at the tills? With extra wide aisles at the pay point? No, of course not. You’ll pay it no matter what size or weight you are. So, it’s a tax on everybody.

See, I told you it was genius.


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